1 Peter 5:8-9 "Be sober, be vigilent; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world."

This past week I have been constantly reminded of this truth. Sunday was filled with an amazing time of fellowship and learning more about loving God from my heart and not my hands and having God be my delight and nothing else in this world. The entire day was absolutely wonderful. Monday followed as one of the toughest days I have had in a while. I felt under complete attack after a slightly scary visit to the doctor. The rest of the day I found myself collapsed in what felt like a never ending river of tears before the Lord. The faith I have that God is still present in an awful situation is based off of the past, He always has been before. The hope is for the future and the hope I have in the Lord goes way deeper than my suffering does.

This only drew me closer in to the Father and I found myself diving deeper into scripture than ever. Not because I felt like I had to, but because I geuinely wanted to. This was only followed my another attack and this time it was bringing up past temptation. All I could do was pray in the midst of a very strange situation and praise the Lord I was delivered. It has been a very humbling week as I see I am never immune from attacks and I see the need to take these words in 1st Peter to heart.

We always need to be alert! Spiritual warfare is a very real and constant thing that we cannot fall asleep to. God is always bigger than whatever attack Satan has against us. They may not always be obvious too, thus the great need for us to be prepared with our armor on. (Ephesians 6:10-18) God does not leave us without help because the Christian walk is not all easy. We are told we have an enemy that goes after us like a roaring lion! He is not going to wait until I am off in Africa to attack, he is always looking to attack us. But look at God's promise that follows in verse 10 of 1st Peter 5: "But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen and settle you."  God wants to take these awful things from our enemy and use them to transform us more to His likeness for His kingdom and He can because He is greater than the one that is in the world! Verse 11 concludes- "To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. AMEN!"

The past few months have been a very trying time and I have felt like my relationship with Jesus is not the way it should be. I'm not spending hours in the word every day like I used to and my prayer time has subsided significantly. In fact a few weeks ago the desire to even be in the word was not even there. Frustration would quickly arise anytime my Bible was opened! I took it to the Lord in prayer. Please renew the desire and passion for your word.

Music has always resonated deeply with me but that seemed to be lost as well during those few weeks. Praise the Lord for sisters in Christ!  We went to a Shane & Shane concert during those few weeks and God awoke my heart to His beautiful music again. Shane & Shane turned Psalm 145 into a song which has spoken huge volumes in my life recently. My beautiful friend and now roommate Kristen loves to worship through song and God used her to soften my heart again to music. The song Psalm 145 has amazing harmonies so I sung along with it and played it over and over again. One day I was sat down and attempted to read the Bible again and still huge tension formed and frustration built up. What is going on? I do not like this! I would get so angry with myself. Why can't you be the Christian you used to April? You are not acting like you should! Then the song came to mind, so I turned in my Bible to Psalm 145 to actually read it. My heart soared!

Psalm 145: 8-9 "The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made." Wow so while I am angry at myself for not being the way I think I should be...perfect, the Lord is slow to be angry at me. But I am not faithful like I should be. Psalm 145:13b "The Lord is faithful to all his promises." The Lord's faithfulness is never hindered by my lack of faithfulness. When I do not feel like I am acting the way I should, the Lord is always moving. He has spoken so much to me through His word the past few months while I have been stressed about not being in His word like I think I should. However when I allow Him to draw me to it out of His love, not by my actions, then I am truly taught in the most humbling way. Psalm 145:19 "He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them." He has saved me again from myself. My thoughts of how I needed to act were hindering my relationship with Him. He answered my prayer and reignited the desire to be in His word, but it is out of genuine love, not out of the feeling of "should".

He is always great no matter what I do. "Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom." Psalm 145:3

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Wrecked for the Ordinary is an online magazine and ministry project directed primarily towards people in their twenties and thirties who are dissatisfied with the American dream. At its core, Wrecked is a call to action. “It’s really about sharing stories of radical living that will activate others to live in their destinies and in abundant life,” Jeff Goins, editor-in-chief, explained while meeting up with the January ’07 Racers in Mexico. Though it is not limited to the World Race, the Racers will have the opportunity to contribute their stories.

Wrecked seeks to re-imagine culture, which is reflected in the tagline: “We do not seek what is, but what should be.” It’s about seeing the world they way Jesus would want it to be. This vision is broken into six main areas:  Culture, Community, Arts, Adventure, Poverty, and Simplicity.

For more information about Wrecked, check out http://www.wreckedfortheordinary.com/. If you are interested in being a potential contributor to the e-zine, choose the “contact us” option on the Wrecked site. Check it out to share life with those wrecked for the ordinary.